Let Me Comfort You
by Setus
Summary: Shikamaru is feeling guilty and depressed about Asuma's death, and so she comes along to comfort him. ShikaTema Oneshot.


**Let Me Comfort You**

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A/N this is just something that popped out when I heard that the great instructor of Team 10 had left the world, and us. This is something to remember him by.**

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own it? No, then good.

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The clouds are as dispersed as usual, just like the day it happened. A single life is so small, compared to the world. But to him, it mattered a lot, and perhaps meant half of the world to him.

Many things crossed his mind at the moment, however even with his innate ability to process thousands of information at the same time, he was confused, more confused than ever…

He left…

He left the village…

He left the woman he loved…

He left the team…

He left him…

All the times he spent playing chess with him, going on missions with him, reprimanded him of being lazy, eating barbecued meat with him had all turned into happy, yet painful memories for him.

"And he didn't even win a single time…" He said to himself as the patterns on the cloud changed again. Then he saw the first time he and the others met him.

He was smoking, the smoke from his cigarette had choked the life out of them, and all of them were in tears.

"There's no need to cry! I haven't done anything!" was what he said…

He hated the smoke, as that was what left a bad impression of him on him. But at this moment, he had the urge to smoke…

He reached into the pockets of his funeral attire and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Imitating what he saw almost everyday, he lit the cigarette and smoked, as if he had done it every other day.

Each puff of smoke lingered in the air before disappearing, just like how each memory of him would linger in his mind before he realizes he had disappeared. And just like how the clouds would linger in one place before being blown off by the wind.

He remembered the last time he played chess with him. It was the most unusual game he played so far. Never had he used that move, and he saw it the first time, and sadly, for the last time. The move, just like how he predicted, was almost suicidal. Yet he chose this path, to be on the frontline, and sacrifice for the sake of others.

He remembered the moment he broke the news about his departure to her. He remembered the widening of eyes, the breaking down in tears. They had been keeping it rather low key, but it is obvious that the two had been dating for a long time. She didn't even say goodbye, let alone see him for the last time.

He started to question whose fault it was that had led to this day. Was it the one they were battling? Or was it fate that chose to play this game? Or perhaps…

It was his fault. If he were to be more careful, if he were to analyze the enemy earlier, if he had trained harder when he had the time…

He placed so much trust in him, and yet he watched as he died.

"It will be all right, because I have you on the team with me…" He could still hear his words ringing in his mind before the fateful battle. But at that time, he could only feel shocked that he said those words, and not take them seriously. If only he analyzed those words properly…

His mission was a hard one; there was no doubt about that. He did not see the gravity of the situation of the mission due to his nonchalant attitude. There could be several reasons why he was chosen for this task. Perhaps it was due to his ability to think and analyze, or perhaps it was due to the partnership between the two of them. Whichever one, it was unconventional that he was assigned a mission of a rank that high. And the reason was simply because he was young and inexperienced. But when duty calls, everyone answers. That was a rule that every ninja had to abide by, and it was no difference for him.

But no matter how many times he thought about it, no matter how hard he examined it; it all seemed to be his fault that he had to leave the world. It was his fault.

Others can say the other, or console him. But nothing could relieve him of the guilt he was feeling. People say that being betrayed was not the worst feeling in the world, and it was not the one who was betrayed who suffers the most. It was the guilt of betrayal, and the one living with it is.

He sat up straight, and buried his head in his knees and struggled with himself.

If only…

If only…

He should be the one who died, that was his conclusion. He should have died in his place, primarily because he was the one at fault…

He should have fought more fiercely…

He should have fought more like a ninja…

A miraculous thing, tears are. It comes when you are at the top of the world, and at the same time, pay you a visit when you are at the bottom of a pit.

He struggled as the tears formed between his sealed eyes.

There was a wind, a stronger wind as compared to the usual breeze. Something that had the trees rustling and the grass lean on one side. But this wind did not feel cold; neither did it contain any off-putting feelings, just warmth and comforting.

He felt it engulf him, calming and soothing. And suddenly he did not feel like letting those tears run anymore. It was a great feeling, like how a mother would carry a crying baby and the baby would stop its brawling and cheer up. He suddenly felt like a little child again…

He calmed down a great amount, he felt better, better than he had in days. He could have sworn that he heard the wind telling him that it was not his fault. Somehow, he felt that he could accept this wind's words, which was strange, because whenever any of his teammates or anybody says something similar, he would walk out on him or her.

The wind said more, and he took them all.

Then, he realized, that he actually heard those words. The wind actually spoke.

He jerked opened his eyes and what he saw confirmed his deduction.

It was no wind…

It was…

Her.

He felt his face grew hot and red as he realized what was he staring at. He looked up and saw her face…

It was not mockery; neither was it gloating at him.

It was pain and sadness.

The impulse to jerk back earlier melted away as he saw pain and sadness in her eyes.

"What is she sad about? She didn't even know him!" He thought to himself.

Then when he felt her hands behind his neck and head, he realized that it was he himself she was sad about.

And just how worried he had made everyone, by walking out on them and isolating himself…

He felt his eyes grew tired of the entire struggle, and the warmth that was spreading throughout his body. His head grew heavier and heavier…

He was tired of all the thinking and struggle. He just wanted a place to sleep peacefully for a while, a place for him to hide his sadness and sorrow, and a time for him to let out his feelings.

Never did he expect to all of it here and now. And never in the world would he expect to find it in her arms, the arms that once fought fiercely with a magnificent fan, for him, and for her.

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A/N I know it's rather confusing because I didn't put any names in it. But I'm sure you guys would know what I'm talking about. Ok, I see some irritated faces. So sorry, and I will get back to the personality test as soon as possible, after I get rid of this sadness. So thanks for reading and please review.**


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